Think the thoughts, feel the feels...write it down

Not gonna lie, pretty proud of myself for picking up blogging again. Anyway, it's 11:28am and I'm sitting in my bed with a candle lit typing this to you.  My weekly obsession enables me to do that: the night shift .  For my new job , new people always have to start of with the night shift.  I am actually the worst morning person you'll ever meet, because mornings are the worst.  I work from 4pm-1am most of the week (Sunday I work from 1-10pm) and hit the jackpot with having Friday and Saturday off.  With this schedule I don't wake up until 11am, 12 at the latest, hang around the house by catching up on my shows or go for a walk or go to the grocery store or run some other errands, then get ready and head to work after a great (or not) breakfast.  When I get home, between 1:30 and 2am; I still got some fight left in me so I do something else.  Last night I got home from work and swept and mopped the living room and kitchen, then showered, then watched some Youtube vide

Whoa!  It has been quite a while, huh?  My last weekly obsession was at the end of August and was about my new job.  Quick update on that job, I'm still doing well and still like(ish) it.  This week's obsession is loooonnnnngggggg overdue, but whatever. My house!  A few weeks ago I moved into a new place in a different part of town with a new roommate.  My former roommate of just a handful of months made a big move to Colorado, so I had to find a new place and new roomie. My new digs are great!  It's another duplex with a great kitchen, gorgeous floors, plenty of natural light, and it's in a fantastically quiet-tree filled-neighborhood! For the most part we're pretty settled into our home, but there have been a few hiccups and some kinks that still need to be ironed out.  Every time I walk into my home or just move from one room to another, I just let out a little sigh because it feels so much like home to me and I am so grateful to be living here.  I basicall

Hey y'all!  It's been a couple of weeks, I decided not to do one last week because I wasn't in a good head space and honestly was really reeling from the prior week's incidents.  This week will be much more upbeat and exciting. This week's obsession is MY NEW JOB!!! Yesterday was my first day and as you may know, I've been looking for jobs all Summer.  I am very grateful to have found a job after just a few months because I know some people have looked for over a year.  I want to tell you about what I'll be doing and about the great stuff at this place. I'll be an internal sales agent/professional at a large, local company called Red Ventures.  When you call to inquire or buy products/services from one of our partners (I believe we have 17), you might be talking to one of us.  I know, I know, that doesn't sound great or interesting at all, and I certainly wouldn't have thought "Hooray, I'm working for Red Ventures sitting at a

This week's obsession isn't gonna be fun or lighthearted, it's pretty serious and scary.  Typically I use this blog as a means to escape and talk about silly things; I am black and always will be, but here I don't have to always be the only black person in the room and to always be reminded of that.  But not today.  Today this is about race, specifically black people and the treatment we receive from the police. Growing up I didn't get what my parents meant when they'd say stuff about being treated differently because of my blackness; I think to a certain extent I wanted to pretend to have the same privilege white people have of not constantly being reminded of their race.  I'm am constantly reminded of my blackness, even here in this urban coffee shop, I'm fairly certain I'm the only black person here if not the only person of color.  PoC (Person/People of Color) are constantly made aware (and are taught to always be aware) of our brownness, th

This week's obsession isn't anything new to you or me, but within the past few weeks I've become more interested in (read: obsessed with) it and have actually spent hours (seriously) on it in any given night.   YOUTUBE!!!   I've always used YouTube as more of a tool rather than for entertainment purposes, but times are a-changin'!  Here are the YouTube channels I'm subscribed to and why I like them.  In no particular order (actually, kinda alphabetical order). Anna Akana This YouTuber has a variety of videos but most of them are just like a vlog.  She shares her thoughts on different subjects: love, family, friendship, singlehood, whatever.  She's very positive and has encouraged me to get in touch with my creative side. BuzzFeedBlue I really enjoy BuzzFeed and can spend ample time on the site, but I haven't spent as much time on this channel as I would have thought.  It still is fun to check out some of the videos, I like random trivia.

Hey y'all so it's actually been two weeks since my last blog entry, I was out of town last Tuesday and didn't have my computer.  Anyway this week's obsession is CAKE!!!   I love it and literally crave it   at least five days of the week.  This past week I have had some great cakes and I want to tell you the simple story behind each slice(s). Last week I went to Greensboro to visit some friends.  On Tuesday evening I went out to eat at this amazing Indian restaurant with a friend who treated me to dinner and dessert.  After dinner she took me to this cake boutique, Maxie B's , and her and I got her favorite cake.  The Brownstone Front Cake.  It's light chocolate cake with caramel icing and a hint of brown sugar and it is exquisite .  I couldn't believe I had lived in Greensboro for five years and had never even heard of this place!  But now I know and now I will likely go anytime I visit Greensboro. (pic from their website) Last Wednesday I spe

Last night I saw  Porgy and Bess   with one of my best friends at the Belk Theater!  I grew up playing the music- Summertime , Bess, You Is My Woman Now , It Ain't Necessarily So -  and saw the opera for the first time in college for its 75th anniversary at Aycock Auditorium at UNCG, my Alma Mater.  I didn't think I'd cry because I've seen the opera, but I was holding back tears the whole time and the waterworks came at the end.  Ugly crying.  I'm so grateful to have been able to see this opera; it's so special to me.

My weekly obsession is a favorite  Tumblr  (<that's my account, not the favorite one)account I follow.  A quick explanation of tumblr: it's a blog, but instead of just sharing written posts you can share your own and others pictures, links, thoughts, gifs, what have you.  I follow over 100 blogs that range from spoken word , recipes , (lots of) feminism , and  White People Said What? I don't even know how I found this blog, likely through some other one I follow, but it has quickly risen to the top as a favorite. Its description/bio reads: " This is a safe space for PoC to talk about our everyday experiences on racism in the many forms from blatant offenses to micro-aggressions. This is a space only for PoC. Not white people. Do not send in anything if you are white, this space is dedicated to us and only us."   At first I wasn't sure how much I liked the honesty of this blog (I kinda thought 'Oooh, you can't say that'), because it isn't c

Hey y'all, so I'm a day late, but it's my blog so I can do whatever I want.  Anyway, breakfast  is this week's obsession. Y'all breakfast is my favorite.  The possibilities are endless!  Eggs, fruit, pancakes, waffles, burritos, veggies, coffee, tea, water, biscuits...whatever the hell you want is game for breakfast.  Breakfast, to me is the most diverse meal and I enjoy it deeply.  The past couple of weeks I have been (more than normal) craving pancakes for breakfast, so I bought some pancake mix (because I was too lazy to buy the three ingredients it takes to make pancakes individually) and made pancakes.  This Sunday I made banana pancakes with cinnamon and nutmeg and they are splendid! Every Wednesday there's this thing called Atherton Breakfast Club (search the hashtag on Instagram) in which these two guys make breakfast on a griddle and people come eat said breakfast.  Last week was my first time going and I had a great time eating and spending ti

Hey y'all, this week's obsession is pretty big and generic, The Internet .  I am in the process of applying for jobs in hopes of finding a new career.  I'm am so grateful for the internet because I don't have to drive from place to place asking if they're hiring, showing off my terrible penmanship on applications.  My dad gave me the idea to look on Craigslist for jobs and that's been pretty great.  I mean, I still have to sift through some shady stuff, but I've gotten a call back from one of the places that I saw was hiring, so Craigslist has reached a new legitimacy for me.  I made it my goal to apply for three jobs a day, but that hasn't gone as planned, yet I definitely am deliberately looking each day. (I typed 'the internet' into Google and this was one of the first images that came up, sooo...) "So how has the job search been going, Coléa?" Well, thanks for asking!  Not bad, I guess.  I was just saying this weekend how I

Hey y'all!  This week's obsession is brought to you by MUSIC!   I have been listening to this musician every chance I've gotten for the past week.  And I want more!!! Sam Smith  is his name and his voice is heavenly.  He's got this delightful voice that has the audacity to go high (I love when men can sing in a high range well), yet he has a soulful robustness to his voice.  I first saw him perform some weeks ago on SNL  and afterwards had chills.  Most of his songs are about longing, love, and heartbreak; so, you know, really cheery stuff.  But so real to me. I hope to hear more from him and absolutely more variety.  Perhaps some more upbeat, happy stuff. SURPRISE!!!  You get a whole other weekly obsession! ORANGE IS THE NEW BLACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I finished the second season last week and have started watching from the beginning (Season 1) with my roommate who's never seen it

This week's obsession, Peroxide , has a kinda gross story attached to it. Last Wednesday I woke up late, I either didn't hear my alarm or it didn't go off.  I suspect the former.  I also woke up not being able to hear out of my right ear.  This is not the first time this has happened, in fact it's quite common, so I did what I always do.  I giggled my ear.  But to no avail.  So this is it, I thought, I just can't hear out of this ear.  I went to work and struggled the whole time to even feel like I was in the room with my students and finally told a coworker about my ear.  She suggested I go to the drug store and get earwax removal drops.  I left work early, because I was basically useless and had nothing to do, and went straight (after going to two Harris Teeters without pharmacies, which I didn't know existed) to the pharmacy counter of Rite Aid.  I told her my predicament and she gave me great instruction on how to use the earwax removal kit. I eager

I've decided to write a weekly blog about something I'm 'obsessed' with.  There's a vlog I enjoy,  Superfruit , on which they talk about random things, but they always share their weekly obsessions.  It's kinda fun and goes well with my somewhat obsessive personality; so I'm gonna do it. This week's object of my obsession are these pants!  I bought them (even though I shouldn't have) on sale at Marshall's and I love them. They have an elastic waistband (which enables me to eat more without discomfort) and elastic at the ankles because that's the style now; all with a fun print of light brown and black.  I dig pretty much all clothing that has geometric patterns so I'm glad they're in fashion.  I wore it with a plain black shirt, strappy black sandals, and a red lip!  My only two complaints are: 1) the pockets are really shallow (which is a vice by The Man to keep women being able to put their full hands in their own pockets) and

Just another update if you're interested. I just, perhaps 7 minutes ago, submitted an application to become a flight attendant for a mainline, non-legacy, airline.  Basically in the past week I decided that it'd be pretty neat to be a Flight Attendant so today marks the first day I actually started in on the process.  "But, Coléa, what happened to the whole 'moving to Chile' thing?' you may be asking: well I sent in my application packet two weeks ago today.  Two days after I sent my application in I received an email from the Chilean Consulate in DC saying that I don't qualify for the temporary residency visa I applied for.  The email was a generic rejection one so it didn't tell me why, only the kind of people that visa was for and that I could be a tourist in Chile for three months on my US passport.  I sent an email in response asking him what I need to do to qualify for said visa and explained that according to what he said in the generic reje

It's been a while since I've written a blog post, so I figured I could update y'all on my life recently. I'd say a lot has happened.  Two weeks ago yesterday, I moved. I'm now about 30 minutes south of where I was before in the city I grew up in instead of living in a surrounding city. My roommate is a generous nurse who I know from church. I've never lived on this side of town and I LOVE it. It's only about 15 minutes from the school I teach instead of the 45 minute minimum commute I had before. Now, my commute is a dream and I don't have to wake up nearly as early as before so I don't feel resentful or like shit first thing in the morning. It's great how close I am to the things I love about this city; I never realized how isolated I felt when living in Concord.  I'm quite grateful to be where I am for the time being, even if only for a few months.  My new place doesn't have cable or internet (yet) so I've been finding other (better

Something I have always felt deeply, is that I'm unique. Not in the good way in which we're all special, in the 'Oh my God, there's something wrong with me, I'm all alone in this world' kind of way. So when I come across someone who shares something (principle, idea, belief, trait) I thought I was alone in, I rejoice. This last week, there was much rejoicing in my heart and mind.  I meet with a mentor (not the actual term we use, but mentor is easier to understand) monthly and she's been a haven for me. Every time we meet she (perhaps inadvertently) reminds me that I'm not so unique. Her and my personality types are very similar and her balance and poise is something I aspire to be and have. This past week we discussed the part of me that often feels most out of control, my emotions. There are times when I literally feel like I'm losing it, like existential crisis level, and there are times when I feel nothing, just neutral.  And, of course, there

Something I'm understanding about myself and trying to change is the way I receive help and love. It's painfully difficult for me to ask for and receive help and love, even from people who I know would (do) gladly and generously give it to me. This is especially strange because I try my damnedest to give it to people, yet I don't let myself receive it. I suspect my struggle comes from not thinking I deserve such basic human mechanisms.  Take this past Saturday for instance, I was in a hole. It was a familiar hole, but still a hole nonetheless. I felt myself slipping into the hole a couple days before, but knew it was going to happen no matter what. Like when I feel menstrual cramps coming and I know there's nothing I can do to stop this month's period, so I reluctantly go with it. I felt myself slipping into the same pit of feeling unloved, not liked, and unknown as I've been in before. It was an all day affair and it was exhausting and it was heart wrenching.

I'm not really sure how to start this blog post.  Should I start with a couple stories?  Or how about an explanation of my personality?  No?  How about I just jump right in?  This is a really personal post, a stab at vulnerability, but I've been mulling over it since I've started exploring this part of myself.  And in speaking with loved ones, I've discovered that I'm not alone.  Just today I was having lunch with a friend who empathized with me, but who has also found the strength that I've only yet to start exploring.  I hope this post proves beneficial to others, because, yes, I have found others who can identify with me, but I still think there are a lot of other people who are still in hiding.  And that's not fair.  So here we go. Something I've learned recently about myself is that I repress my emotions in sacrifice for others' needs and wants who I care about.  I've mentioned this before , but now I'm actually doing something about