Wednesday, December 28, 2011

What I have learned about being a teacher from God

I have learned to not have favorite students.  It's clear that God has favorites by the way He treats us all with no equality.  My family and I aren't on His favorite list and it's rotten.  I'm not gonna do that to my students, I'm not going to make some feel like I like them and some feel like I couldn't care less about them.  It's not fair and I want to be just.

God's Favorites: He always provides for what they need, He never takes away anyone they care about, He gives them what they want when they want it most of the time.

God's Non-Favorites: He doesn't provide for them consistently so they have have to work 12/6 to barely pay the minimum on the bills while they watch others have more than enough without even trying, He goes long periods of time not talking to His children that He says He loves, He continually breaks them letting things get worse with no break or explanation, He let's them get their hope up only to smack it out of their hand, He treats them like they don't matter to Him.

Now, I realize that He's decent enough to give Non-Favorites air and life, but it'd be nice to get thrown a few more bones than that.  I also realize that He never promised to make things easy, but I'm not asking for easy I'm asking for fair.  God says He's just and good, but I'm not seeing it; and every time I get a glimpse of His goodness and justness, it's quickly disproved.  Things will seem slightly less shaky and then someone you love and care about will loose their job just 2 days after Christmas, wouldn't you agree that that's not good?  And what's fair about busting your butt to simply pay your bills and support your family, while others do next to nothing and have more than enough to do whatever they want and live less then decent lives?  Cognitive dissonance, that's what plagues me: I know God is good/just/loving, but I don't see that being perpetuated.

So, in conclusion, I'm not going to treat my students like God treats His Non-Favorites.  I'll still give grace, love, and mercy, but in a way that is tangible to them no matter what.  I'll make them feel loved, valued, special, and safe.

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

reconstructing or replacing?

Last Sunday I heard a great, relevant message at church that led me to come to terms with something that I hadn't had a clarification on.  I am ready to be back in a real relationship with the Lord, to be communicating with Him regularly, to re-learn His voice.  But the fact that I faced on last Sunday was that I didn't know how to go about the relationship.  Things are different now, I am different now and my perception and understanding of who God is is very different.  I pondered how to go about having a relationship with Him.

I didn't know whether I was supposed to try to pick up where we left off or start (kinda)anew.  You see, trying to have the same relationship we had before I gave up on Him just seemed foolish; in any relationship, conflict changes perceptions of yourself and the other person, and while God's knowledge of me hasn't changed, my understanding/perception of Him has certainly altered.  Things will never be the same, but I don't believe they should ever stay the same.  It's sort of like trying to glue a shattered vase back together, yes all the pieces are there, but it's just not gonna be the same.  So this leaves me with the choice of replacing;  I'm not a fan of that word, perhaps a better word would be refurbish?  I'm still me and God is still God, but just like you refurbish a computer, you can refurbish a relationship, even with God.  When you refurbish something, you use the same vessel/structure/frame (a piece of furniture, computer, car) but that's about it.  You put new hard drive/software in it, new paint/stain, new engine, etc.  It's still the same computer/dresser/car, but it's "harder, better, faster, stronger" (song).  So that's what I've decided to do, to refurbish this relationship.

It's still me, a changed me, but me and God.  Thankfully, He will never change!  I'm glad that this decision has been made, I had been unknowingly putting the decision off.  Now to figure out how this newly refurbished relationship will shape up.