because I'm not the only one
I'm really scared to put this post out there. And I'm not entirely certain that it will make it past being just a draft. But I knew a few weeks ago that I would, at the least, write about it and consider actually posting it. So I'm writing, because I'm not the only one. A few Fridays ago, I woke up and felt low. Lower than I've felt in a long, long time. I felt terrible, not physically, aside from an aching heart. I cried and cried some more, and then took a few breathes and then cried more. I wanted to lay in bed for all eternity, or at least until I died. I wanted to not exist (which is a feeling I am quite familiar with); but please note that I did not want to kill myself, I wasn't feeling suicidal. I felt deeply unloved, unliked, and unwanted. Out of (probably not) nowhere I was feeling this way. I felt alone; I felt trapped; I felt hopeless; and most of all I felt unloved. After wrestling with the notion of literally staying in bed all