Think the thoughts, feel the feels...write it down

I feel uninspired.  I feel that I have only little glimpses of the supposed good stuff that makes up life: car, house, housemates, money, community.  But all else feels empty.  What is "all else"?  There's something missing that used to live inside me.  I hate to say that I'm almost entirely certain I know what that 'something' is, yet I sit here without attempting to attain it, to connect to it.  Life feels hollow without it.  If I am a branch, then I am a dying one, shriveling up from self-inflicted alienation from the Vine. So what's wrong with me that I would continue to let myself dry up when I know where Living Water is to be accessed?  Bitterness?  Perhaps a little.  Cynicism?  A lot.  Anger?  Not so much.  Fear?  Probably.  Anticipation?  Most definitely.  There's all those emotions coursing through my veins, sucking me dry; but there used to be life rushing through me.  There used to be hope, joy, love, inspiration, purpose, identity.  All t

Lately I've noticed a lot of commercials/shows about "curvy" women.  "Curvy" meaning plus size, meaning 'larger than the average woman.'  I have a problem with this term "curvy"; while I'm not plus sized, I do consider myself to be curvy.  I'm shaped like a woman, because I am a woman with a body; I have that hourglass shape with a slight peariness (slightly larger on the bottom than top) to it.  I think it's unfair that I don't get to be called curvy simply because I'm not plus sized. That's all.

So I've been living in this house for over a month now and can I just say that I love it!  I literally come home everyday and I am filled with joy!  I enjoy this house so much, I love my room and I love every other room in this house even my housemates.  I love my housemates, they are all so fabulous, and beautiful, and smart, and great.  I love my bed, it's so comfortable and delicious. People, before I moved in, said that that heightened feeling of satisfaction and 'love' would die down soon once I get into the rhythm of my house and housemates.  Well, 'soon' has passed and I'm still very much in love.  The more time I spend in this house with these people the happier I become. So for now I'd say that I'm in honeymoon stage.