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Showing posts from February, 2015

Still a Winner

About a week and a half ago the person I was dating broke it off with me officially; she had/has fallen for someone else and wanted to be with her exclusively. I had already been feeling the distance between us, I just didn't want to admit it because I liked her so much. The night she broke up with me I was distraught; I phoned friends and cried in their ear; I considered getting drunk, but was too tired; and finally I capped off the night by un-friending her on Facebook. I didn't do this out of spite or malice, I did it because I knew I would just spend way too much time on her profile wishing and hoping, and thus never getting over her. It's with that same reasoning that I deleted all of our text message history. Drastic for some, necessary for me.

The next few days I moped and cried and drank and processed and actively worked to get over her. My regimen worked and by week's end I felt actually really good. I didn't think "Good riddance" thoughts I just…

A Cause for Loneliness?

A couple nights ago a friend called me. She was a little boozy and hanging out at someone's house she feels a deep connection with. She expressed feeling so lonely, and that it's lonely being unique.  I agree(d). This conversation got me thinking: are there specific things in our lives that cause this feeling of loneliness, and can one ever fully eradicate loneliness from one's life?
Loneliness is nothing new to me; I feel it each day in varying degrees and always have.  Even when I'm amongst friends, family, loved ones, it's there. All that to say, I don't know if it could ever truly be extinguished. But perhaps it could be tamed so that it only rears its head under certain circumstances. That'd be nice.
One thing I think causes loneliness are walls. Walls we put up explicitly or inadvertently for whatever reason are ultimately put up to keep others out, but mostly (at least in my experience) to keep something within ourselves safe from harm.  It can take…

I should probably write this and actually post it

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This is my first (posted) blog of 2015! And I sure do have a lot to catch you up on, so brace yourself. And in true form, it'll be in list form because that's how I like it and it's my blog.
1) Work The last time I wrote, I gushed about my job.  I had only been working there for some weeks and was still in the awkward honeymoon stage, but that honeymoon is over and so is the job.  I actually got fired almost two weeks ago.  I have mixed feelings about it all: on the one hand I need a job because I need money because society says so, yet on the other hand, I'm kinda relieved.  I wouldn't say the job quickly turned sour, but the more I worked that job, the more my soul died (is this the drama you're looking for?) and the more I realized I'm not cut out for that type of position.  Now I'm royally sucking at the job hunt again.  I just feel like I have no direction in my life.  I can't put my finger on what I'd like to do and I certainly don't …