Boy crazy
I've pretty much always liked males. I actually remember the exact day I started liking boys: my first full day of Kindergarten, I started after-school as well. A big, cool 1st grader, named Sharie, approached me and pointed to another big, cool 1st grader named Garrett and said "Isn't Garrett cute?!" From then on, I liked boys. So when prepubescence descended upon us, I had already 'discovered' that boys were cute and that girls should like them. That was old news for me.
I know some women who like a certain type of man, certain style, certain height, certain race, certain occupation, all that stuff. I'm not like that at all and never have been. I've liked every race: black, white, asian, hispanic, native American, you name it. I've liked many variations of looks: goth, prep, slob, ginger (I only put that here because I know not where else to put it and remember a 'fling' I had with a ginger in 8th grade as well as other ginger crushes), surfer, hippie, etc. I can't even say that I've only been attracted to men of a certain faith. There's really no pattern of who I have liked or found to be attractive.
Last August/September someone called my friend and I 'boy crazy' because of some comment we had made. We made the comment in a joking manner, but I guess he didn't realize that. I very much value his opinion on things, so his words had some weight to them. Ever since then, I've thought often about my thoughts on men. What I've come to realize is that I'm not boy crazy; I like men, but my thoughts aren't consumed with them. I'm not often distracted by random men, I don't think every man is looking at me and I'm not looking at every man. But what will happen is I will have a crush on a man and find my thoughts drifting in his direction. It's funny to me how men and women feel about each other. I wonder how it works.
Since I teach prepubescent to pubescent children, I see worlds consumed by the opposite sex. Girls who want nothing more than to talk and daydream about boys. Boys who are trying to impress girls by showing off how loud they can burp (needless to say they have not yet figured out what impresses the ladies). Once I get past the naseating factor, it's kinda cute. One day these children will be adults, married, with children...but for now, they only have the emotional and mental capacity to giggle when a cute boy waves in passing or when a girl acts impressed by their goofing off.
Currently I am single, but this is good for me. I am not just saying that because I have settled on the fact that this is in God's will for me right now, I am saying this because I can see areas where I am growing in my life, spiritually, mentally, and emotionally. I know that if I weren't single these places of growth wouldn't be growing. I do hope to be married one day, but right now I am not and choose to live my life with fullness instead of sitting around waiting for my life to start (aka waiting for marriage). I have a beautiful life, one that's full; I have no excuse to feel lonely because I've got a God who never leaves and He provided a community that loves well. My life is full and I don't feel that I am lacking in any area because I have no husband. I am grateful for my gratefulness of my current singlehood.
I know some women who like a certain type of man, certain style, certain height, certain race, certain occupation, all that stuff. I'm not like that at all and never have been. I've liked every race: black, white, asian, hispanic, native American, you name it. I've liked many variations of looks: goth, prep, slob, ginger (I only put that here because I know not where else to put it and remember a 'fling' I had with a ginger in 8th grade as well as other ginger crushes), surfer, hippie, etc. I can't even say that I've only been attracted to men of a certain faith. There's really no pattern of who I have liked or found to be attractive.
Last August/September someone called my friend and I 'boy crazy' because of some comment we had made. We made the comment in a joking manner, but I guess he didn't realize that. I very much value his opinion on things, so his words had some weight to them. Ever since then, I've thought often about my thoughts on men. What I've come to realize is that I'm not boy crazy; I like men, but my thoughts aren't consumed with them. I'm not often distracted by random men, I don't think every man is looking at me and I'm not looking at every man. But what will happen is I will have a crush on a man and find my thoughts drifting in his direction. It's funny to me how men and women feel about each other. I wonder how it works.
Since I teach prepubescent to pubescent children, I see worlds consumed by the opposite sex. Girls who want nothing more than to talk and daydream about boys. Boys who are trying to impress girls by showing off how loud they can burp (needless to say they have not yet figured out what impresses the ladies). Once I get past the naseating factor, it's kinda cute. One day these children will be adults, married, with children...but for now, they only have the emotional and mental capacity to giggle when a cute boy waves in passing or when a girl acts impressed by their goofing off.
Currently I am single, but this is good for me. I am not just saying that because I have settled on the fact that this is in God's will for me right now, I am saying this because I can see areas where I am growing in my life, spiritually, mentally, and emotionally. I know that if I weren't single these places of growth wouldn't be growing. I do hope to be married one day, but right now I am not and choose to live my life with fullness instead of sitting around waiting for my life to start (aka waiting for marriage). I have a beautiful life, one that's full; I have no excuse to feel lonely because I've got a God who never leaves and He provided a community that loves well. My life is full and I don't feel that I am lacking in any area because I have no husband. I am grateful for my gratefulness of my current singlehood.
Comments
Post a Comment