Good Hair
I just finished watching a documentary by Chris Rock called Good Hair. It was a sincere look into the world of 'black hair'; it looked into relaxers (sodium hydroxide used to straighten hair) and weave (hair sewn/glued in), primarily, but also talked about other types of hair treatment and sources. The film was very informative for me as I have never gotten a lot of that stuff figured out, there's a lot of stuff out there. The documentary's sole purpose wasn't to inform the public of the extents black women go to to have their hair look good, it was more about the thought, heart, behind it.
The term 'good hair' is something I've heard my whole life, it essentially means that the hair looks healthy straightened and is 'easy' to style like a white person's hair. Not "nappy". Growing up I had 'bad' hair because it wasn't relaxed/straitened. I wore braids and cornrows (see below) from the time I was 3 until I was 15. I can't tell you how many times I got picked on because my hair wasn't 'smooth', straight, or 'out'. I remember begging my mom to leave my hair out, not braid it, because I thought braiding was what made my hair kinky. To me, my kinky hair is what made me different, ugly, not my skin (although I wasn't a fan of that either). I used to cry, put t-shirts over my hair to pretend I had straight, 'manageable' hair, ask for a perm (it's really a relaxer, but we call it a perm) so that I wouldn't get picked on by my peers and teachers. Sad right? When I was 15, at the end of my 9th grade year, I got my first perm. What you must understand about sodium hydroxide, the chemical used to straighten hair, is that it is seriously harsh. If left on for too long, it will chemically burn you and can damage your hair follicles forever. If breathed in it damages one's lungs. AND PEOPLE PUT THIS ON THEIR SCALP AND HAIR!!! MADNESS! But, suddenly after several hours, I had 'good hair'. That was easy. At school, people treated me differently, nicer, boys started liking me and approaching me, people noticed me and would actually pay me mind, some people would ask me if I was half white/hispanic. Overnight, I mattered. That's damaging to a person, because that told me that I was insignificant before my hair was straightened, that I was ugly.
Chris Rock and his camera crew went to India, the source of the best type of weave, to find out where this hair is coming from. I was stunned, and saddened. Some (Hindu) Indian people participate in what is called tonsure. This is the sacrificing of their hair to appease one or more of their gods. They have their hair shaved for free (for their god), and it is collected, processed and sold to companies for very high prices for women who don't like their hair enough to use someone else's. Chris Rock and I were a little disgusted, and not just because that kind of hair kinda gives me the heeby jeebies. When interviewing men and women on weave, he asked how it felt under there. There were some men who had never touched their womens' hair because of the weave. Rock said it felt like 'surgery' under there. There were some who were flat broke because weave is expensive, we're talking $1000+ to have it put in not to mention maintenance. That's dumb, there I said it. Rock interviewed one 19 year old man who admitted that he's looked at black girls' hair (with weave) and thought 'I can't be with her because she's too good (expensive) for me'. Women wouldn't let their lovers touch their hair and certainly not their scalp. Chris Rock asked if that impeded intimacy, they said they found ways around it. Now, I don't have weave (and I never will), so I can honestly say someone has run their fingers through my hair and massaged my scalp (pure magic) and I wouldn't give that up for fake hair. It feels too good.
I understand that hair, not just on black women but on anyone, gives off a certain impression to everyone. Like a smile, it's part of the first impression people use to judge others. That doesn't bother me. What does bother me is what happens to the psyche when it comes to a person's hair, what happens to the heart. The extent that black women go through to be 'beautiful', or anyone for that matter, bothers me. The chemicals, the money, the sacrifices (some literally won't pay their rent and get their hair done instead), the pain (a lot of that stuff hurts and is dangerous), the constant striving to obtain the mold of beauty society has set. It's painful to see that all that is so heavily manifested in hair.
This isn't me trying to start a rally against hair that isn't o'natural, I personally don't care what you do with your hair, it's none of my business. I have a perm in my hair and will continue to perm it for however long I want to. I like my hair straight, it's more manageable to me (I'm no good at hair and hate spending time on it); it's super thick and grows quickly and this is how I can take care of it and style it. I often envy women who can rock the natural look, I find them to be brave and beautiful. I hope to never again have my identity wrapped up in my hair, and I hope this for anyone who does.
The term 'good hair' is something I've heard my whole life, it essentially means that the hair looks healthy straightened and is 'easy' to style like a white person's hair. Not "nappy". Growing up I had 'bad' hair because it wasn't relaxed/straitened. I wore braids and cornrows (see below) from the time I was 3 until I was 15. I can't tell you how many times I got picked on because my hair wasn't 'smooth', straight, or 'out'. I remember begging my mom to leave my hair out, not braid it, because I thought braiding was what made my hair kinky. To me, my kinky hair is what made me different, ugly, not my skin (although I wasn't a fan of that either). I used to cry, put t-shirts over my hair to pretend I had straight, 'manageable' hair, ask for a perm (it's really a relaxer, but we call it a perm) so that I wouldn't get picked on by my peers and teachers. Sad right? When I was 15, at the end of my 9th grade year, I got my first perm. What you must understand about sodium hydroxide, the chemical used to straighten hair, is that it is seriously harsh. If left on for too long, it will chemically burn you and can damage your hair follicles forever. If breathed in it damages one's lungs. AND PEOPLE PUT THIS ON THEIR SCALP AND HAIR!!! MADNESS! But, suddenly after several hours, I had 'good hair'. That was easy. At school, people treated me differently, nicer, boys started liking me and approaching me, people noticed me and would actually pay me mind, some people would ask me if I was half white/hispanic. Overnight, I mattered. That's damaging to a person, because that told me that I was insignificant before my hair was straightened, that I was ugly.
Chris Rock and his camera crew went to India, the source of the best type of weave, to find out where this hair is coming from. I was stunned, and saddened. Some (Hindu) Indian people participate in what is called tonsure. This is the sacrificing of their hair to appease one or more of their gods. They have their hair shaved for free (for their god), and it is collected, processed and sold to companies for very high prices for women who don't like their hair enough to use someone else's. Chris Rock and I were a little disgusted, and not just because that kind of hair kinda gives me the heeby jeebies. When interviewing men and women on weave, he asked how it felt under there. There were some men who had never touched their womens' hair because of the weave. Rock said it felt like 'surgery' under there. There were some who were flat broke because weave is expensive, we're talking $1000+ to have it put in not to mention maintenance. That's dumb, there I said it. Rock interviewed one 19 year old man who admitted that he's looked at black girls' hair (with weave) and thought 'I can't be with her because she's too good (expensive) for me'. Women wouldn't let their lovers touch their hair and certainly not their scalp. Chris Rock asked if that impeded intimacy, they said they found ways around it. Now, I don't have weave (and I never will), so I can honestly say someone has run their fingers through my hair and massaged my scalp (pure magic) and I wouldn't give that up for fake hair. It feels too good.
I understand that hair, not just on black women but on anyone, gives off a certain impression to everyone. Like a smile, it's part of the first impression people use to judge others. That doesn't bother me. What does bother me is what happens to the psyche when it comes to a person's hair, what happens to the heart. The extent that black women go through to be 'beautiful', or anyone for that matter, bothers me. The chemicals, the money, the sacrifices (some literally won't pay their rent and get their hair done instead), the pain (a lot of that stuff hurts and is dangerous), the constant striving to obtain the mold of beauty society has set. It's painful to see that all that is so heavily manifested in hair.
This isn't me trying to start a rally against hair that isn't o'natural, I personally don't care what you do with your hair, it's none of my business. I have a perm in my hair and will continue to perm it for however long I want to. I like my hair straight, it's more manageable to me (I'm no good at hair and hate spending time on it); it's super thick and grows quickly and this is how I can take care of it and style it. I often envy women who can rock the natural look, I find them to be brave and beautiful. I hope to never again have my identity wrapped up in my hair, and I hope this for anyone who does.
This comment isn't directly related to the subject of this post, but I think you'll laugh with me. I clicked on your blog thinking I was clicking on a link to another friends blog that also starts with "Chronicles of..." and got very confused as I started reading the first few paragraphs. See, the author of the other blog is white and has long, straight hair. I was momentarily trying to picture her with cornrows, and was uber confused. Then I realized why - this is your blog, not hers.
ReplyDeleteHumorous?
Quite, I can imagine the confusion.
ReplyDeleteWow Colea. Just last week I was thinking that I wanted Tamren to wear ponytails forever. I thought how would the other people view that at her school once she reached middle school. I was thinking I wanted to keep her hair natural as long as I could but stylish too. I know kids can be cruel. Sorry you went through that. When your hair was thick and braided I thought it was amazing. It had a story behind it. You know how Grandma Bea made it grow when you were a baby. You know you was a little bald so when you got hair I was like, "Wow"! Only because I didnt have to braid it. I loved your thick hair. Thick hair is healthy to me. Great blog. Nightfox is Caleb but this Tammy's comment
ReplyDeleteJust a did-you-know moment...the factory for women's hair products Chris went to in the documentary?? It's in Kernersville, NC and currently The Bridge (formerly known as Calvary Chapel of the Triad.) My dad come home one day after working over there, cleaning out pipelines of gook and he was DISGUSTING. He said, "Women would never use this stuff if they knew how nasty it was." And I thought to myself, "No, women will go to any length to feel beautiful, appreciated and desired." Great blog...thanks for sharing. I have always thought you are super hot and have fantastic hair. Just so you know... ;-) Love you, friend!
ReplyDeleteLol! Bridgette, I did know that. As I was watching this I got excited because I know exactly where this place is, I wonder why he didn't just say Kvegas?
ReplyDelete