The 9 Things Children Should Know Upon Entering Kindergarten

It's been about four weeks since the beginning of the school year.  I teach grades Kindergarten through Fifth Grade and see a lot of different functioning children (high functioning to low functioning) throughout each grade level.  The single most frustrating grade to teach is Kindergarten, they don't know anything.  It's normal for them to not know anything; for the most part, many of them have never been in a school setting.  I guess Pre-Kindergarten and More-At-Four and Head Start aren't required?  They should be.  Anyway, at school we come across a lot of kindergartners who are helpless; not only is that inconvenient  to us who teach them, it's dangerous for the students as well.  Here's a list of things I (and others) believe Kindergartners should come to their first day of school knowing.  Please and Thank you.

1) Their Full Name.  I know what you're thinking, of course they know their name.  WRONG!  Many kids only know what their parent's call them (Princess, Sweetie, LoLo), which may or may not be their 'legal' names.  So on their first day, when we're trying to figure out who they are and where they belong, it's almost impossible.  "What is your name?" "..." "Que es su nombre?" "...". What are we supposed to do with that?  Kids should come knowing their First Middle Last Names, and should be able to say them separately.  If I ask for their last name, they should be able to say JUST their last name(s).  BONUS: If they can write at least their first (or middle) name.

2) Their Parents'/Legal Guradians' Names.  In the event that we need to know their caregiver's name, they need to be able to say more than 'Mom' or 'Dad' or 'Auntie'.  What happen's if they get lost in Wal-Mart and the security guard is trying to page their parents?  What is the security guard supposed to say over the intercom? "Mom, Dad please come to the front of Wal-Mart!"

3) How to make a line.  Yes, a line.  You probably don't remember learning how to form a line with others, but you did and you're a better person for it.  Walking Kindergartners, in a line, from one place to another is like herding cats.  You'll lose some, have to stop every few feet to regroup and be extra grateful for your ending destination because it was so trying getting there.

4) How to dress themselves.  Again, you might be thinking that surely they know how to dress themselves.  While most do pretty well, there are the few that don't; I have onE student who's shirt is ALWAYS backwards.  That's not a big deal, but the kid who wets himself and doesn't know how to change his own clothes is a big deal.  Kindergarten classes are around 20 students big, having kids who can't put their jacket on, or who don't know how to tie their shoes (which is a big problem not just in kindergarten) slows the process for everything down.

5) Potty Trained.  Yep, you guessed it.  There are some kids who are still learning how to work their urinary tract.  There's a kindergartner (thankfully in a class I don't teach) who pees on himself everyday.  And...what for it...doesn't know how to change his clothes by himself; so he walks out everyday naked hold his wet clothes asking for help.  Lawsuit.  I'm not talking about bed wetting, that's not a problem since napping has been taken out of the Kindergarten curriculum and has been swapped for testing and college preparation.  Kindergartners are notorious for being surprised when they have to pee; they haven't yet realized their body sends signals far before it is an 'emergency' and they have to go at that instant.

6) Their Alphabet & Numbers.  Notice I didn't say the ABC song.  There's a difference between singing a song and actually being able to identify each letter of the alphabet visually and maybe a little aurally.  The latter is what is desirable.  As far as numbers go, being able to visually and aurally identify them and counting is pretty much a good idea.  BONUS: If they can actually read, spell, and do math.

7) Contact Information.  They need to know their parents' numbers and their address.  There's no reason to not know it.  It's a matter of safety.

8) How to Sit.  I know they're young so their attention span is like that of a goldfish, but they still have to sit.  Some kids are always sitting on top of each other, some kids I have to continually move their legs for them because they don't know how to sit criss-cross-applesauce ('indian style' for my politically incorrect generation).  They must not sit at home, because they look at you like you're a crazy person when you ask them to sit still.

9) Their Left and Right.  In the US, most everything is right oriented: we drive on the right side of the road, we write from right to left, most people are right handed, and we WALK ON THE RIGHT SIDE OF THE HALLWAY.  It's difficult to tell kids to walk on the right side of the hallway when they don't know what 'right' means.  It doesn't take much time to incorporate it into everyday jargon, so, parents, please do it.

Well, look!  Only nine things for them to learn, not even ten.  If/when you have kids, please teach them this stuff.  It'll make their educational experience better and will make us teachers happier.