Think the thoughts, feel the feels...write it down

I have to be honest, when I see couples (especially younger than me) getting engaged/married, or when someone else announces their pregnancy/baby, I freak out a little bit...but then I remember that I'm only 23 and I like my life.  I briefly wonder what's taking me so long, why aren't I married?  why aren't I living the "typical" adult life? I heard someone say that God has promised us a spouse.  This would mean that everyone is supposed to get married.  I don't believe this to be true.  While, yes, the majority of people (that I know of) get married at least once, there's no guarantee that anyone person will get married.  But that's alright.  Marriage isn't a reward for doing the right thing.  Marriage is...marriage.  You're either married or not, it's nothing personal. So if you're reading this and you're married, know that there's nothing wrong with you, you're just not married.  Being single means you can do thin...

Well folks, it's November!  This means that men everywhere (well at least in places that I can see) will be growing their facial hair out and likely their head hairs out.  HOORAY! I love a man with facial hair, it's like home to me.  I think part of it is because, growing up, my daddy always had a Van Dyke (mustache attached to a gotee), so it's very familiar to me.  There's something so excellent about a man who can grow a (quality) beard/mustache; to me, it means they're more manly. Now I've seen some gross beards/mustaches before: the patchy beards, the thin mustaches, the one's with food stuck in it.  These will not win me over.  But a face with consistent hair growing out of it that's clean?  Yes Please. Facial hair seems so useful and during the cold months; I always envy men with delicious beards because I'm certain their faces are exponentially warmer than mine.  My face gets so cold that my teeth hurt when I open my mouth, BUT ...

Lately, the last week or so, I've felt something stirring inside.  Something good, something progressive.  It's seemed like my heart has been softening towards God.  I've stopped cynically retorting to all the good things people say about God and the Christian walk, and have felt more comfortable with the idea of being in a relationship with God.  Today, at church, pastor talked about 'Identity' and I thought 'oh great, another one of those messages.'  But the message was, surprisingly, refreshing. He talked about how we have been called children of God and this means that we ARE children of God,  1 John 2:28-3:10.  We should act accordingly.  As children of God, we can live a life of freedom and victory (1 John 2:12-14), although we often let the Accuser (devil) tell us that our mistakes/sins are who we are .  The  devil calls us failures when we fail at something, but the reality is we're still children of God, we simply ma...

‎"The missionary heart cares more than some think is wise, risks more than some think is safe, dreams more than some think is practical, and expects more than some think is possible." This was posted as friend's Facebook status tonight, she got it from a pastor who read it from a missionary girl who died.  Wow, if that's a missionary heart, then I am way off.  I can honestly, and humbly?, say that this quote used to speak so true of me, but now that doesn't reflect who I am, who I've become.  I want that heart again.  I want that compassion, that visionary, idealist spirit.  But I've allowed my lousy (lousy in my opinion) circumstances of the past several months to get to me, to alter my perspective and attitude on life.  I want to return to a heart not centered around myself, but centered around loving others and the Lord. The other week I was chatting with a friend and telling her that I know I'm supposed to live a different type o...

Have you ever watched a movie and seen a character that really resonated with you?  It's never actually happened to me before until this past weekend.  A friend and I watched  Something Borrowed and one of the main characters, Ginnifer Goodwin's character, reminded me of myself, sadly.  The character was hopelessly in love with a friend of hers from grad school that was engaged to her best friend since childhood.  Unfortunately I know all too well how Gin's character feels; she was always the girl who liked the guy, but was never liked by the guy.  She would externally be patient and pretend to not be affected by his lack of romantic attention, but internally she'd be in turmoil with hopelessness that he would never love her because she's not beautiful enough.  She was that girl. Maybe it's part of my personality, or perhaps it's my insecurities, but I'm always hopeful that he would like me yet I'm certain he won't, because I'm not goo...

I feel uninspired.  I feel that I have only little glimpses of the supposed good stuff that makes up life: car, house, housemates, money, community.  But all else feels empty.  What is "all else"?  There's something missing that used to live inside me.  I hate to say that I'm almost entirely certain I know what that 'something' is, yet I sit here without attempting to attain it, to connect to it.  Life feels hollow without it.  If I am a branch, then I am a dying one, shriveling up from self-inflicted alienation from the Vine. So what's wrong with me that I would continue to let myself dry up when I know where Living Water is to be accessed?  Bitterness?  Perhaps a little.  Cynicism?  A lot.  Anger?  Not so much.  Fear?  Probably.  Anticipation?  Most definitely.  There's all those emotions coursing through my veins, sucking me dry; but there used to be life rushing through me.  There u...

Lately I've noticed a lot of commercials/shows about "curvy" women.  "Curvy" meaning plus size, meaning 'larger than the average woman.'  I have a problem with this term "curvy"; while I'm not plus sized, I do consider myself to be curvy.  I'm shaped like a woman, because I am a woman with a body; I have that hourglass shape with a slight peariness (slightly larger on the bottom than top) to it.  I think it's unfair that I don't get to be called curvy simply because I'm not plus sized. That's all.