Family Envy & Jonah

This post was originally me griping about what I don't like about my family, but, since starting this post (a few weeks ago) I've learned a lot and my perspective has changed.  I am learning and choosing to accept, now, that all families have their dysfunctionalities (I'm pretty sure that's not a word) and that's because people are deeply flawed.  It's inevitable.

My problem is/was that I saw the problems of my family and I wanted to jump right in and fix them.  I wanted to instruct on how to speak, treat, love one another.  And it wasn't even because I thought it my way or the highway, it was because I saw problems and saw a lack of progressive movement towards resolving the problems and I figured "someone's gotta do it".  A friend of mine kept telling me that it's not my job to fix my family's problems, but I feel such a responsibility and burden for my family that it's difficult for me to simply let go.

Last Tuesday I heard a message from the book of Jonah, yes the guy that got swallowed by a big fish; it was about the different people on the boat.  One type of person that was on the boat was trying to 'save' Jonah by staying on it and overthrowing some cargo to make the boat lighter.  But the problem wasn't the cargo, the problem was Jonah's disobedience.  The Lord was getting Jonah's attention and the shipmates were simply there doing their thing.  The speaker of the message said that the shipmates weren't responsible for Jonah, they did what they could, but ultimately it was Jonah's problem to resolve, thus it was Jonah's responsibility to resolve.

I'm the shipmate, and my family is Jonah.  I've done and said what I can, but ultimately it's not my responsibility.  My family is not my responsibility.  It's not within my means to 'fix' my family.

Now I'm learning to relinquish control of my family to the Lord.  This doesn't mean that I don't care about them, it means that I love them enough to take my feeble grips off them so the Lord can work.  It's so hard because I love them so much, but when you love someone you have to let what's best happen to them and surrendering control to God is what's best for them.

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