Top 9 Worst Christmas Songs

I'm a bit of a Scrooge when it comes to the Holiday Season.  Don't get me wrong, I LOVE CHRISTMAS and get all gooshy when talking about how great of a Savior Jesus is to be coming to this earth as a helpless baby.  I really do love Christmas.  I don't love the Christmas/Holiday 'Spirit'; what is this 'Spirit' and why does it look a lot like a neutered Winter celebration partnered with consumerism?  The true meaning of Christmas isn't family time and giving (that should be year round), the true meaning of Christmas is celebration and adoration of the arrival of the Savior of mankind.

So you might imagine that I dislike Holiday songs.  That is both true and false.  I love Christmas songs rich in the Gospel, telling how God came to His Earth to save His people because He loves us.  Those songs are beautifully written and have such sweet language, they capture the true meaning of Christmas.  Then there are those songs that only come out during the Holiday Season, but really don't have anything to do with actual Christmas.  Some of those songs I don't mind, some make me angry because they're so inappropriate/dumb/shallow/ugly.  Also, please keep in mind I've been in band since I was 10.  In band/orchestra/chorus (and in my music classroom now) we start preparing/rehearsing Holiday music in October.  I kid you not.  So by the time Christmas and Hanukkah (we don't really play any Kwanzaa songs because there aren't really any) actually arrive we've been over the music since mid November.  We've heard and played the songs ad nauseam.

Here is a list of (in my opinion) the worst Christmas/Holiday/Winter Season songs.  These are not all of the worst ones, just some.  In no particular order.

1) Frosty, the Snowman.  I never really cared for the song, I never requested it.  But this year my second and third graders are singing it for the school's Winter Program and, upon typing out the words, I realized what a truly terrible song this is.  It's about this snowman who comes to life and leads this group of kids into town knowing that he's gonna melt and leave the kids alone.  Why aren't the kids' parents stopping them from following a snowman?  Why would said snowman lead kids into the streets of town?  Why would Frosty purposefully go out in the sun, with kids in his care, when he knew he would just melt?  He essentially stole a bunch of kids and then stranded him.  Also he smokes, which makes no sense on several different levels.  People think this song's jolly, it's not.

2) Santa, Baby.  This song captures, perfectly, the consumerism of Christmas.  The song is literally a woman rattling off her Christmas list in a seductive tone to Santa Claus.  Santa is married and you are a grown woman...materialistic home-wrecker.

3) Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer.  The only redeeming quality of this song is that it helps me remember the names of the reindeer.  But other than that, it encourages kids to only like someone if they do something for you; much like how the reindeer bullied (by exclusion, teasing, and name calling) Rudolph until he did something for them to 'earn' their positive attention.  I don't want kids growing up thinking it's okay to treat others like that.  My advice to Rudolph is to find some truer friends than those eight.

4) Jingle Bells.  This is a song about one of the most annoying instruments that exists in auxiliary percussion.  The song is overplayed and has no meaning.

5) Jingle-Bell Rock.  The third and second graders at my school are learning this song and I've come to realize it's dumb.  The words "jingle-bell(s)" occurs way too often, like two to three times in a two measure phrase.  The song has even less meaning than Jingle Bells and doesn't make any since because no one would write a rock song centered around such an instrument.

6) I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus.  It didn't occur to me until last night that this is a really bad song.  I adore the Jackson 5 version, but I also just adore the Jackson 5.  I never really thought it was that bad because, growing up, I was told my Daddy was Santa Claus.  Like, he turned into Santa on Christmas Eve.  So of course my mom was kissing Santa Claus, she's Mrs. Claus.  But if this song is functioning on the premise that Santa Claus is real, then there are bigger issues at hand.  Santa is a married man and in the song, so is the mom.  There is an affair at hand and the child doesn't realize the severity of this situation.  Heavy stuff for a Holiday song.

7) The Christmas Shoes.  I don't think this is a very popular one, which is a good thing.  It's just such a downer.  It's about a boy whose mom is dying and he wants to buy some shoes for her but doesn't have enough money.  Seriously.  Of you need a good cry, watch this video I found of it.

8) We Wish You a Merry Christmas.  What could possibly be wrong with this song, right?  I didn't realize until last year when my the Kindergartners and First graders sang it for the Holiday Program, that the song is downright rude.  There are different versions, but a very popular version says "Now bring us some figgy pudding (4x) and bring it right here!...We won't go until we get some (4x)..."  The song goes from wishing someone a Merry Christmas to demanding figgy pudding and refusing to leave until they get their way.  In what world do we want people to be so rude?

9) Mr. Snow Rap.  This song is literally only performed by tiny children (my Kindergartners and First Graders) and I know people will think it's super cute, but I hate it.  The 'rap' is simply explaining how to make a snowman.  This is basically what's it's gonna look like at our Winter Program except with over 200 kids rapping this stupid song.

This list is from the bottom of my heart...just like my wishing you a Merry Christmas con prospero año y felicidad.