So I have these feelings about...Fall
It used to be I dreaded the coming of Fall. Now, I dread it less. I'll admit there are things I enjoy about Fall; but, overall I have mixed feelings about it. Here's what's going on inside my heart in regards to Fall:
1) Pumpkin. I.hate.it. And I always have. When fall is near, everyone starts, suddenly, announcing what the heck they're drinking. Were you not hydrating during the rest of the year? People always are like: "curling up reading a great novel with a pumpkin spice latte." I literally don't care. Suddenly, everything has to have pumpkin in it. Pumpkin is gross, slimy, stringy, and nasty. Literally the smell of it makes me nauseous. If Fall means pumpkin, then I don't like it.
2) Day Light Saving Time. Hallelujah! That's Fall's biggest redeeming quality. I am not a morning person, so getting an 'extra hour' of sleep is a luxurious treat. I'm a much more pleasant person.
3) Weather. I prefer warmer weather. But it is nice to not get sunburned and sweat stains from checking the mail. But I'm such a sissy in cold weather; the temperatures that we're having now are ideal. I'm okay with beginning Fall weather, in the 70's and 80's.
4) Fashion. I've really come to like Fall/Winter fashion. And I really like that people start to cover up; ladies, I realize our bodies are beautiful creations, but I don't want to see yours. Sweaters, colorful tights, boots, leggings, scarves. I dig.
5) Plant Life. I just feel so badly for the trees. They're these excellent greens and then they change to all these lovely, vibrant colors...then the leaves fall off. How sad. I wouldn't mind if the leaves stayed on the trees and then just changed back to green when the weather grew warmer. Already, this week, I had students dodging leaves because they were fearful of what would happen if they were touched by them. Everything starts to die. How sad.
6) Food. I'm not into Thanksgiving food, with the exception of mac'n'cheese and dinner rolls, but I do like that people start making chilis and soups. Last year, I made chili for the first time and I'm looking forward to trying different recipes this year. I'm not sure why, but people tend to make more wholesome food during the colder months and like to share it; I am so happy to try the vegetarian ones.
7) Television. There are some good shows that come back on in the Fall.
8) Wind. I don't mind it, but it gets really cold and takes my breathe away, then I don't like it.
9) Decoration. I'm not a fan of Fall decorations. They always involve straw/hay, orange, brown, red, and yellow. There's always pumpkins and other nasty gourds involved; suddenly, people start putting pumpkins on their front porch and call it decoration. People have dumb Halloween decorations all September and all October. Turkeys, which are ugly, dumb creatures, become ironic celebrities and kids transform their hands into these poor, ugly, dumb creatures and call it art. Scarecrows become famous, as if crows aren't a problem during the rest of the year. People start using "Fall scented" candles, which essentially means cinnamon and pumpkin, so my nose feels constantly harassed. It really just feels out of control to me. Like everyone has lost their tasteful mind and has embraced tackiness.
10) Winter. Winter makes me so sad, and kinda S.A.D. All Fall, as the season progresses, I'm trying to brace myself for the terribleness that's Winter. This kinda ruins Fall for me, because I know it's just getting ready for Winter and I really don't like Winter.
11) My Skin. My skin does not like cold weather. It get dry and peels, no matter what I try. I've already started seeing some peeling. Gross.
12) Holidays. I don't care about Halloween; Thanksgiving is just okay, but mostly stressful. I do like the Jewish holidays, but I don't celebrate them any longer. People go all out for the first two holidays, and I just don't care, so I have to hear all about their plans for costumes and pumpkin food...and I don't want to.
13) Christmas Music. I am a Music Teacher, this means I have to start teaching and rehearsing Christmas, Hanukkah, and Kwanzaa music in October. So while everyone is enjoying the Fall season, I've got a mental soundtrack of politically correct, Jesus neutered, Holiday Music. Not my favorite thing ever. Then, when the time actually comes for Christmas Carols and other festivities, my stomach turns at the thought of singing about commercial Christmas again. I like the Jesus rich stuff, but if I have to sing Jingle Bells again, I'll turn into a Scrooge.
14) Beards. I.love.them. No Shave November is my favorite. I'm so glad men feel inspired to let their face-mane grow. I'm not just glad, I'm grateful.
15) Scary Movies. I don't like scary movies, not even a little bit. Scary movies start getting released in Fall, for Halloween, I guess. It's really terrible.
So there you have it! My mixed feelings about Autumn.
1) Pumpkin. I.hate.it. And I always have. When fall is near, everyone starts, suddenly, announcing what the heck they're drinking. Were you not hydrating during the rest of the year? People always are like: "curling up reading a great novel with a pumpkin spice latte." I literally don't care. Suddenly, everything has to have pumpkin in it. Pumpkin is gross, slimy, stringy, and nasty. Literally the smell of it makes me nauseous. If Fall means pumpkin, then I don't like it.
2) Day Light Saving Time. Hallelujah! That's Fall's biggest redeeming quality. I am not a morning person, so getting an 'extra hour' of sleep is a luxurious treat. I'm a much more pleasant person.
3) Weather. I prefer warmer weather. But it is nice to not get sunburned and sweat stains from checking the mail. But I'm such a sissy in cold weather; the temperatures that we're having now are ideal. I'm okay with beginning Fall weather, in the 70's and 80's.
4) Fashion. I've really come to like Fall/Winter fashion. And I really like that people start to cover up; ladies, I realize our bodies are beautiful creations, but I don't want to see yours. Sweaters, colorful tights, boots, leggings, scarves. I dig.
5) Plant Life. I just feel so badly for the trees. They're these excellent greens and then they change to all these lovely, vibrant colors...then the leaves fall off. How sad. I wouldn't mind if the leaves stayed on the trees and then just changed back to green when the weather grew warmer. Already, this week, I had students dodging leaves because they were fearful of what would happen if they were touched by them. Everything starts to die. How sad.
6) Food. I'm not into Thanksgiving food, with the exception of mac'n'cheese and dinner rolls, but I do like that people start making chilis and soups. Last year, I made chili for the first time and I'm looking forward to trying different recipes this year. I'm not sure why, but people tend to make more wholesome food during the colder months and like to share it; I am so happy to try the vegetarian ones.
7) Television. There are some good shows that come back on in the Fall.
8) Wind. I don't mind it, but it gets really cold and takes my breathe away, then I don't like it.
9) Decoration. I'm not a fan of Fall decorations. They always involve straw/hay, orange, brown, red, and yellow. There's always pumpkins and other nasty gourds involved; suddenly, people start putting pumpkins on their front porch and call it decoration. People have dumb Halloween decorations all September and all October. Turkeys, which are ugly, dumb creatures, become ironic celebrities and kids transform their hands into these poor, ugly, dumb creatures and call it art. Scarecrows become famous, as if crows aren't a problem during the rest of the year. People start using "Fall scented" candles, which essentially means cinnamon and pumpkin, so my nose feels constantly harassed. It really just feels out of control to me. Like everyone has lost their tasteful mind and has embraced tackiness.
10) Winter. Winter makes me so sad, and kinda S.A.D. All Fall, as the season progresses, I'm trying to brace myself for the terribleness that's Winter. This kinda ruins Fall for me, because I know it's just getting ready for Winter and I really don't like Winter.
11) My Skin. My skin does not like cold weather. It get dry and peels, no matter what I try. I've already started seeing some peeling. Gross.
12) Holidays. I don't care about Halloween; Thanksgiving is just okay, but mostly stressful. I do like the Jewish holidays, but I don't celebrate them any longer. People go all out for the first two holidays, and I just don't care, so I have to hear all about their plans for costumes and pumpkin food...and I don't want to.
13) Christmas Music. I am a Music Teacher, this means I have to start teaching and rehearsing Christmas, Hanukkah, and Kwanzaa music in October. So while everyone is enjoying the Fall season, I've got a mental soundtrack of politically correct, Jesus neutered, Holiday Music. Not my favorite thing ever. Then, when the time actually comes for Christmas Carols and other festivities, my stomach turns at the thought of singing about commercial Christmas again. I like the Jesus rich stuff, but if I have to sing Jingle Bells again, I'll turn into a Scrooge.
14) Beards. I.love.them. No Shave November is my favorite. I'm so glad men feel inspired to let their face-mane grow. I'm not just glad, I'm grateful.
15) Scary Movies. I don't like scary movies, not even a little bit. Scary movies start getting released in Fall, for Halloween, I guess. It's really terrible.
So there you have it! My mixed feelings about Autumn.
How can it be that I like most of the things you dislike about fall and I dislike some of the things you like (time change & beards come to mind), and we are still friends?
ReplyDeleteThe Gospel brings us together.
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