30
Today marks two weeks (and one day) of being 30. Going into it I was hesitant (as if I could slow down time) because the past few months have been tough and I was scared the shitty trend would continue. BUT so far thirty has been great!
I feel the healthiest I've felt in a over a year, probably closer to two years. I feel loved and vibrant. I feel fulfilled and whole. I feel attractive and optimistic. I feel like I'm important in my own life. I am terribly good at enveloping my existence in someone else's; in devoting my life to someone else's happiness, needs, wants. But I've been working to untangle myself from that disposition. Self care is most efficient when consistent.
I believe in setting intentions and manifesting. I believe that we speak, project the trajectory of our lives. So I was nervous about how to speak life into my life, partially because I had forgotten how. I had had this internal conflict of speaking/writing about my life because I didn't want to misspeak and thus manifest something I didn't want for my life. So I've been silencing myself out of fear of fucking up my life. But, my life is a little fucked up anyways so why was a fretting? So I am here to speak life and light and love into my life. I am responsible for my life.
Life: I will live it thoroughly and glean every drop of goodness from it. I will fill it with beauty, and honesty, and growth, and fun, and adventure, and meaning. Life will be lived to the fullest extent possible.
Light: I will bring lightness into my being with doing things that ease the heaviness of a soul. I will meditate, smoke, cry, write, and dance. I will explore more ways of bringing lightness into my life.
Love: I will love myself. I will explore what that even means. I will care for myself with the same zeal and devotion that I care for others. Am I eating well? Watered myself? Have I breathed through this? Am I treating myself compassionately?
I feel...good. And I trust the goodness will continue.
I feel the healthiest I've felt in a over a year, probably closer to two years. I feel loved and vibrant. I feel fulfilled and whole. I feel attractive and optimistic. I feel like I'm important in my own life. I am terribly good at enveloping my existence in someone else's; in devoting my life to someone else's happiness, needs, wants. But I've been working to untangle myself from that disposition. Self care is most efficient when consistent.
I believe in setting intentions and manifesting. I believe that we speak, project the trajectory of our lives. So I was nervous about how to speak life into my life, partially because I had forgotten how. I had had this internal conflict of speaking/writing about my life because I didn't want to misspeak and thus manifest something I didn't want for my life. So I've been silencing myself out of fear of fucking up my life. But, my life is a little fucked up anyways so why was a fretting? So I am here to speak life and light and love into my life. I am responsible for my life.
Life: I will live it thoroughly and glean every drop of goodness from it. I will fill it with beauty, and honesty, and growth, and fun, and adventure, and meaning. Life will be lived to the fullest extent possible.
Light: I will bring lightness into my being with doing things that ease the heaviness of a soul. I will meditate, smoke, cry, write, and dance. I will explore more ways of bringing lightness into my life.
Love: I will love myself. I will explore what that even means. I will care for myself with the same zeal and devotion that I care for others. Am I eating well? Watered myself? Have I breathed through this? Am I treating myself compassionately?
I feel...good. And I trust the goodness will continue.
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