Still a Winner
About a week and a half ago the person I was dating broke it off with me officially; she had/has fallen for someone else and wanted to be with her exclusively. I had already been feeling the distance between us, I just didn't want to admit it because I liked her so much. The night she broke up with me I was distraught; I phoned friends and cried in their ear; I considered getting drunk, but was too tired; and finally I capped off the night by un-friending her on Facebook. I didn't do this out of spite or malice, I did it because I knew I would just spend way too much time on her profile wishing and hoping, and thus never getting over her. It's with that same reasoning that I deleted all of our text message history. Drastic for some, necessary for me.
The next few days I moped and cried and drank and processed and actively worked to get over her. My regimen worked and by week's end I felt actually really good. I didn't think "Good riddance" thoughts I just thought realistic "we honestly wouldn't have worked and been truly happy together" thoughts. Then I thought, I hoped, that we could still be friends. I really value her as a friend.
Monday (just shy of a week afterwards) I called her to follow-up and, amongst other things, we both agreed that we want to stay in each others' lives because we both like each other, as friends. I went over to her (and her girlfriend/roommate) house and hung out for a little that night. It was truly a beautiful experience seeing her interact with this woman she has deeply fallen for; it was great seeing them and the freeness and love flowing between them.
So why is this called 'Still a Winner'? Because even though I didn't 'get the girl' (forgive me for the patriarchal idiom), I still got to keep someone amazing in my life and gained another friend (her girlfriend). That's a big deal for me, I don't have a lot of friends, I've got plenty of acquaintances, but a small handful of people who I'd consider to be friends.
Also, I have no regrets, I'm grateful for the time we had together, before we dated and when we dated, and I happily anticipate our time/friendship after the dating. I might be getting the hang of this life business.
The next few days I moped and cried and drank and processed and actively worked to get over her. My regimen worked and by week's end I felt actually really good. I didn't think "Good riddance" thoughts I just thought realistic "we honestly wouldn't have worked and been truly happy together" thoughts. Then I thought, I hoped, that we could still be friends. I really value her as a friend.
Monday (just shy of a week afterwards) I called her to follow-up and, amongst other things, we both agreed that we want to stay in each others' lives because we both like each other, as friends. I went over to her (and her girlfriend/roommate) house and hung out for a little that night. It was truly a beautiful experience seeing her interact with this woman she has deeply fallen for; it was great seeing them and the freeness and love flowing between them.
So why is this called 'Still a Winner'? Because even though I didn't 'get the girl' (forgive me for the patriarchal idiom), I still got to keep someone amazing in my life and gained another friend (her girlfriend). That's a big deal for me, I don't have a lot of friends, I've got plenty of acquaintances, but a small handful of people who I'd consider to be friends.
Also, I have no regrets, I'm grateful for the time we had together, before we dated and when we dated, and I happily anticipate our time/friendship after the dating. I might be getting the hang of this life business.
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