reconstructing or replacing?

Last Sunday I heard a great, relevant message at church that led me to come to terms with something that I hadn't had a clarification on.  I am ready to be back in a real relationship with the Lord, to be communicating with Him regularly, to re-learn His voice.  But the fact that I faced on last Sunday was that I didn't know how to go about the relationship.  Things are different now, I am different now and my perception and understanding of who God is is very different.  I pondered how to go about having a relationship with Him.

I didn't know whether I was supposed to try to pick up where we left off or start (kinda)anew.  You see, trying to have the same relationship we had before I gave up on Him just seemed foolish; in any relationship, conflict changes perceptions of yourself and the other person, and while God's knowledge of me hasn't changed, my understanding/perception of Him has certainly altered.  Things will never be the same, but I don't believe they should ever stay the same.  It's sort of like trying to glue a shattered vase back together, yes all the pieces are there, but it's just not gonna be the same.  So this leaves me with the choice of replacing;  I'm not a fan of that word, perhaps a better word would be refurbish?  I'm still me and God is still God, but just like you refurbish a computer, you can refurbish a relationship, even with God.  When you refurbish something, you use the same vessel/structure/frame (a piece of furniture, computer, car) but that's about it.  You put new hard drive/software in it, new paint/stain, new engine, etc.  It's still the same computer/dresser/car, but it's "harder, better, faster, stronger" (song).  So that's what I've decided to do, to refurbish this relationship.

It's still me, a changed me, but me and God.  Thankfully, He will never change!  I'm glad that this decision has been made, I had been unknowingly putting the decision off.  Now to figure out how this newly refurbished relationship will shape up.

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